Get close & skip sex

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I can actually hear the men and women sniggering in the galleries as they read this! The common thought in women's minds being, "Which world are you living in?

Men are hardwired to sex and intimacy without sex is really not worth the effort to them! Cuddling is fine but it does not get them the physical release they get with sex!

Men are thinking, "Cuddling is fine during those times of the months......but I need sex! And if I cannot have sex, I'm not going to waste time only on cuddling when I can have the whole hog with some other woman!" I am partially right and partially wrong!

You have to work to build your intimacy without sex and that takes a lot of hard work!

A few ways to make this work are

Touch

Be as physically close as you can without sex. Calming massages, cuddle while watching a movie and holding hands while talking or even cutting each others hair is great ways to get intimate without sex! Getting to know each other is half the fun of intimacy!

Hold

Hold each other as much as possible. Try kissing each other good night or when you are leaving the house. Works great to keep you connected without sex.

Be emotionally intimate

Write each other sweet poems and then wait up for each other to come back home. Share secrets and office gossip. This can really relax you while at the same time keep you informed about what you both are doing.

Banish distractions

Take away the TV, unplug phones and mobiles and send away for takeout food and just sit and talk while looking into each others eyes! That really boots the intimacy levels.

Be warned!

Intimacy and sex is hardwired into the male sex drive as a related object. For them sex means love and physical intimacy. For them more sex means more intimacy! You can get close to them without sex but physical communication in every relationship is as important as an emotional communication.

Sex is an inherent part of every marriage and long-term relationship but it should not be something you do just to relive the tension! Physically being in contact with your partner can be really relieving even if you do not have sex and it works!

10 tricks to bigger orgasms

While majority of couples wish to have extended massive orgasm (EMO), not everybody comes down to experiencing these repeated Majority of couples wish to have extended massive orgasm (Getty Images) orgasmic waves. Lovers experiencing one of these massive orgasms have reported enjoying more of life’s joys in general, becoming nicer and more generous in their relationship. An EMO can last minutes or hours, offering up blissful sensations at increasing intensities, reports Fox News. And here are the tricks of this tantalizing trade: 1. Truly recognize your pleasure You want to immediately approve of your present sensations. This starts before you even get in the sack by overcoming anxieties you have about sex. This may require identifying limitations you’ve been taught about sex, like how you’re supposed to respond (or not respond). You need to then challenge any social conditioning that impedes upon your response. Ridding yourself of the uninvited "others" in your bed will enable you to solely focus on the orgasmic sensations, including ones that come from simply anticipating action. 2. Learn to relax Lovers have the tendency to tense up during ç, which is not conducive to extended orgasm. You need to be able to surrender your nervous system during genital stimulation. It’s this letting go of tension that allows you to embrace your pleasure. 3. Get in the know The more we know about our bodies, sex, and sexual response, the better we can recognize sensations, the more we can lose ourselves in them. Become knowledgeable about sexual response, sexual anatomy, and erotic techniques. 4. Give yourselves time for pleasuring Lovers may stimulate each other by fantasizing out loud, taking your time getting to the genitals and hot spots. Teasing allows for greater energy awareness and arousal, and these are what make the experience ultimately so mind-blowing. 5. Touch for pleasure You can show your partner that you are into the moment by informing them about what you are going to do so he or she can surrender more easily. Highlighting a lover’s physical responses further enables them to tune into the sensations. 6. Learn to channel your energy You want to get out of your head, directing your energy to your groin. This will make for more explosive results, plus help you to further tune into your sexual response. 7. Become an effective communicator To amplify things up, you may need to request changes that will intensify your pleasure if you’re the receiver. As the giver, you may need to ask for feedback or direction. In either case, asking for more will help you to feel more. Giving approval can do wonders for a lover’s ego. 8. Develop your pelvic floor muscles Exercising your pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle will put you more in tune with your sexual response. It’s also what makes for more powerful orgasms. 9. Have plenty of lubricant handy As you will be loving for the long-haul, make sure you avoid the friction, pain, and discomfort that can result from working each other raw by using lube. 10. Do away with any drive-thru mentality Having an EMO isn’t like going for fast food. One can’t go into it thinking instant gratification. Instead, approach it as though training for a sport.

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

Morning Sex

One of the many differences between the sexuality of men and women is that men tend to enjoy morning sex, while women mostly prefer to keep bedroom activity reserved for nighttime. This probably has a lot to do with what is referred to as nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT), which causes a man without erectile dysfunction to have three to five erections as he sleeps. NPT is more commonly referred to as “morning wood” or “morning glory.” Whatever you call it, waking up with an erection is as good a reason as any to initiate a little early action. Unfortunately, your girl may not be in the mood the minute she opens her eyes, but if you approach it properly she will very quickly be just as into morning sex as you are.

Prepare the night before

In order to avoid having to get out of bed in the morning before initiating your early lovin’ you should do some preparation the night before. Keep some breath mints near the bed so you can quickly take care of your dragon breath before things start to get sexy. Also, be sure to go to the bathroom before you go to sleep to prevent having to get up to take a leak as soon as you wake up. Don’t forget to have a condom ready to go within arm’s reach too.

Set your internal alarm

It’s important to wake up early enough to get a little action in before either of you are due at work. So, set your internal alarm clock to wake you up with enough time to enjoy a little morning make-out time to start your day. It’s best if you can wake up before her so you can rouse her into consciousness with your smooth moves. Remember, you might be ready to go, but it could take a while for her to get warmed up, so factor this in when you’re figuring out how much time you will need for your morning sex. 

Morning sex could mean the difference between a good day and a great day ...

Gently wake her

Your woman most likely does not want to be greeted immediately by your erect penis waving in her face, so take it easy. Touch her softly and slowly. Give her little kisses all over her face and body. Let your fingers play with her hair. This sensual approach will ensure that she wakes up in a positive, loving mood and makes it much more likely that she’ll take pleasure in morning sex. If you need more tips for waking a sleeping woman, check out our piece on How To Seduce A Sleeping Woman.

Make her feel sexy

Your girl may not feel very sexy when she first wakes up, so to get her in the mood be sure to tell her how beautiful she is -- even if she’s a bit of a mess. Ignore the disheveled hair, the pillow creases on her face and her less-than-pleasant morning breath, and tell her how badly you want her. If you find it difficult to keep a straight face while telling her how hot she is first thing in the morning, try using a position that doesn’t put you face to face. Spooning her from behind is romantic and sensual, while it also conveniently allows you to avoid the misery of morning breath.

START YOUR DAY WITH A BANG

Getting busy in the morning can be an excellent start to your day. It gets the feel-good hormones pumping and puts a smile on your face, making it much easier to put up with whatever hassles your day brings. Like anything, having morning sex every single day will get old after a while, especially for your girlfriend who typically does not peak sexually in the morning hours like you do, so be sure to mix it up and get busy at other times of the day too. And there you have it; some easy ways to keep her satisfied and get a little satisfaction of your own at the same time. If you want her to be addicted to you, check out AM's From The Bar To The Bedroom and go crazy.

By Sarah Stefanson

My biodegradable love

To borrow fashion-speak, green is the new black on the love/dating scene. Translated into relationship-speak, it means couples are waking up to the needs of the environment and making their love lives more eco-friendly. 
Now, the wine is organic, sexy lingerie comes from renewable fibres and love is biodegradable. Suddenly, it’s all also about reducing your carbon footprint. 
So do you need help getting started? Here are some tips to a cleaner, greener love life. 
Mood lighting

A romantic dinner, or a tryst in the bedroom, isn’t complete without mood lighting. Darkness adds a delicious intimacy to almost any girl-guy situation. That’s why you’ve installed fancy dimmer lights everywhere.

But consider this: On an average, we consume approximately 421 kilowatts of electricity per hour per year. Do the math - it comes up to quite a bit! So instead, light up some candles (sourced from ethical FairTrade businesses, of course).

Pick the perfumed ones, the right scents will help you relax or even get ready for a some more hectic activity later.

Psst, it not only cuts down your electricity bill, but reduces your personal carbon footprint.

Shower together

Steamy, scented baths might be sexy, but they also waste a lot of water – 25 gallons worth of it. So instead, shower together. It’s also more fun (and eco-friendly) than showering by yourself. Work up a lather (wink, wink) with some scrumptious, natural bath and body products from The Body Shop or Lush.

Go organic

Cookin’ him a feast? Switch to organic produce. They’re more yummy and very healthy. Why? Because they’re grown without the ‘benefits’ of chemical fertilizers, insecticides, weed killers or other chemicals. Serve with a good organic wine. Cheers!

Recycle

You picked out a very smart organic cotton shirt for his birthday. But don’t go spoil it all by wrapping the shirt in some shiny, non-eco friendly paper. Have you thought about reusing the wrapper you preserved from another gift? Or, use the pages of colourful supplements that come with the Sunday paper. It’stres chic and tres environmentally conscious of you!

Ethical protection

The condom market too is populated with some eco-conscious options. Environmental fundamentalists might want to give sheepskin condoms a try - they’re biodegradable. Another good option is the FairTrade natural latex condom. Gallic company French Letter promises users much FairPlay with condoms produced from natural latex sourced through FairDeal Trading organisations. They’re good for the environment (sorta) because they’re harvested under sustainable conditions.

So go ahead, bask in the clean glow of your eco-friendly love!

 

Conceivable: Wild 'gourmet sex' the key to increased fertility, says new research

Couples trying for a baby should have sex as wild and exciting as when they first met for the best chance of success, according to scientists.

'Gourmet sex' - where both partners make the effort to ensure their partner has a satisfying experience - greatly boosts the chance of having a baby.

Better sex boosts the quality and quantity of the sperm while stronger orgasms in a woman makes the sperm more likely to fertilise the egg, scientists said.
The research suggests couples would be better off spicing up their sex lives than paying attention to diets and times of the month.

'Couples who are trying to have a baby often mention that the sex becomes a bit of a chore, a bit mechanical and routine. That's the wrong thing to be doing,' said Dr Allan Pacey, a senior lecturer in andrology, the study of male fertility, at Sheffield University.

'The sex should be as wild and thrilling as it was when they first met, when they weren't thinking about babies to give them the maximum possible chance of having a baby,' added Pacey, who is also secretary of the British Fertility Society.
normal man produces some 250million sperm during sex. Greater stimulation through 'gourmet sex' can increase this number by 50 per cent according to research and will boost the quality of the sperm as well.

Healthier sperm swim better through the female reproductive tract giving them a greater chance of fusing with the egg to start a new life.

'The better the sex, the better the chances of conception,' Dr Joanna Ellington, an American reproduction expert, will tell viewers of the Channel 4 programme, The Great Sperm Race.

'One of the things that men don't realise is that the more excited they are, the further back in the testicle they are going to draw on reserves [of sperm].

'So if you have what I call 'gourmet sex', where you really spend time and you make it fun for both partners, that is going to make the man more excited, more stimulated and he is going to ejaculate more sperm - they are healthier sperm.'

Greater sexual excitement in women not only creates stronger orgasms, it also boosts fertility.

'When a woman experiences an orgasm, we think the intensity of the muscular contractions she has during the big pressure changes going on in her body helps to pull or suck up the sperm into her cervix and from there into the uterus,' Dr Pacey said.

The research in humans is backed up by studies of pigs. Danish scientists found that sows sexually stimulated by humans during artificial insemination had a 6 per cent increase in fertility.

The programme tells the story of human conception using people playing the part of sperm.

5 things to do after sex

There are several books and articles that will tell you what to do before sex. Some extol the virtues of foreplay, some give you seduction techniques and some talk about body language.

However, it's also important to know what to do after the act. Here are some things you could do after a steamy lovemaking session.

Whisper sweet nothings

You are in one of the most intimate situations possible. It is a great opportunity to talk about things that are close to your heart or things you wanted to know about each other. Try to keep the talk mushy and personal instead of getting into profound metaphysical or political discussions.

Movie magic

While absolutely non-conventional, watching a film after making love can be a pretty good idea. Bring out a chick flick or teary romance as it is probably the only time when he will appreciate them. It will help strengthen the bond between the two of you, especially if it isn't a one-night stand.

Say cheers

A post-coital drink allows your frayed nerves to calm down and your body to relax. In addition to this, the exhaustion of the passionate act combined with a little alcohol will ensure that both of you get a good night's sleep.

Clean up

Well, not immediately as he may think you didn't enjoy it. However, after you are all done, it's a good idea to do a bit of cleaning up. Sex is a messy affair and things need to be put into place after the act. Washing yourself after sex keeps you clean and prevents infection.

Sleep tight

Great sex should be followed by peaceful sleep. Again, it is not advisable to do this immediately. Cuddling for a while and going to bed is the way to go because, let's face it, you are exhausted. A good night's sleep will ensure that you are fresh the next morning for all your chores which may include some more sex.

Whatever you do, don't indulge in activities that take up a lot of energy. Instead, take things easy and enjoy the intimacy of the moment.